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[ A step towards the right direction ]

Sep. 22nd, 2006 | 09:57 am
posted by: spinallandscape in icarus_society

I declare today to be National Promote Hotness Day.

You are to give a compliment to at least one person you see who has an awesome sense of style. This is NOT National Ego Boost day that involves 'natural hotness' (svelte body, pretty faces etc)... I'm talking about Options and Accessories, most noteably a great outfit.

I complimented a woman today wearing a Prada-esque streamlined sweaterthing and a leather skirt to work. She just looked Corporate Assassinish, and that MUST be encouraged.

Please reply here with the details of your run in with National Promote Hotness Day. Don't even have to explain who/why you complimented the person, just affirm that you did it.

Don't you start thinking I'm 'doing something for others' or 'giving warm fuzzies'. This is a national act of 'stop dressing so fucking fugly because you are blinding me and making me want to die'. It is to be done for positive reinforcement (because that works best) to sway the world to be a little less slovenly and just plain fugly. I suppose you are more than welcome to pick a sexy person (natural sexyness) and berate and embarass them for wearing something frumpy and boring. Take your pick, but do share.

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[ An uncanny "L" definition ]

Sep. 1st, 2006 | 11:23 am
posted by: spinallandscape in icarus_society

For those who can read my friend's list, here's a slightly less personal edition of my epiphany.


It's funny. My 'careing' about my mother is literally not even based on a real emotional bond. My definition of Love, even from the parental relationship forward, is actually more akin to 'debt'. I feel bad when I don't eat the fruit my mom sends in gift packages, because she paid money for it and I should appreciate the gift. I feel bad I didn't get her tool tickets because she has tried to make me happy before, so I owe her one of the few unique sources in my power to give her.

I owe my parents for keeping me clothed and paying for a moderate portion of my schooling. (Though to be honest, I think with my scholarships I paid for more of it than they did.) I owe my mom to not remove her from my life because it would make Her more sad than it would make me to pretend like I care about her. I owe my mom for the chicken soup she made when I was sick, and the home made cookies now on my desk.

But... she's chipping away at all of this slowly... and fucking with my credit negates those cookies. And is starting to chip away at this weird feeling of ownership that she envokes by ...giving me things. My mother's funny. She wishes sometimes that she was more Medusa like (she has said that, word for word) and in some ways, she's just Proud that I'm interesting and she made me.

I sense that from her. Even her praise is more like appraisal. Too bad I'm past the point of being able to be pawned off to cement her place in this world.

You know.. now that I try them.. I don't even think those cookies are home made. WTF.

I really don't understand how such a creature can actually be upset when I'm upset. It's the only positive female trait that my mother ever garnered. Empathy. But she's honed that skill more for manipulation than anything else.

I really don't know what her relationship is with my sister. Other than she tried the whole coddling thing that never worked on me. But as far as I am concerned, I guess I understand why I don't believe in the L word.

And why... if you mean it, and you ask me.... "do you?" "Have you?" "tell me that you..." I can't. I freeze up. Cause if you make me think about it, and Mean it... I can't say something Is when I don't know What It Is.

The only true form of Love that I can comprehend, is this unearthly desire to shelter someone from harm. I don't want Eilla to be hurt by her parents. I don't want D hurt by life. I don't want my parents hurt by outside forces, time, or my sister.

But... that's all I got.

Other than that. L is ephemeral, and lives (partially) inside the most main things-- any human interaction, from a stimulating, bonding conversation to enjoying someone's cock in my mouth. Anywhere you may just enjoy a person for who they are. Anything bigger than that... and you just can't convince me of its meaning.

That's about it. L is the line you cross when you reach the point in any relationship where betrayal is genuinely unexpected. (And thus.. most dangerous.) When you think you can communicate through conflict and avoid the majority of the negative and deception with Understanding. When someone owes you an explanation for an action that you didn't expect, that's love. When they are obligated to be consistant. (Unfortunately, my consistancies in my paradoxes are so fucking complicated, a lot of people just don't get that feeling from me. Funny that. A lot of people also don't feel like I understand the L word. I wonder....)

That's all I got. That's all L is.

And so resurfaces a time and place where I must have two faces, maybe three. So noone is behind me, and all options are open. I shall rest for noone. I shall expect nothing. I shall be pleasently surprised by decent stimulation.

I'll leave before anyone wakes up in the morning.

I feel better now.

Too bad everyone else is just too fucking boring to teach me differently.


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My Application

Aug. 3rd, 2006 | 04:31 am
posted by: vindex_cruentus in icarus_society

Hello all. New to the group, thought I'd fill out the application.

Click click...Collapse )

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[ it's been quiet here ]

Aug. 2nd, 2006 | 08:07 pm
posted by: spinallandscape in icarus_society


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[ Conduit ]

Apr. 10th, 2006 | 02:59 pm
music: the last - funker vogt
posted by: spinallandscape in icarus_society

She pushed her thumb and forefinger to the bridge of her nose. If nothing else, it was something to do with her hands while the rest of her head kept on hurting. If only this sensation would go away—leave her alone for at least a few hours. Maybe she could get something done.
She could feel her pulse beneath her fingertips and accepted it as a rhythmic answer: “Not… Bloody … Likely…”.
She gave a semi-audible groan.
“Not now, please.”
She could hear the purse of lips, it hung in the air like breath on a cold day.
Another glorious silent moment.
“Mmm how about a—“
“What part of ‘go the fuck away’ did you not understand?”

The door closed quietly, and for that she was thankful.

If she wrote it would go away. If she remembered correctly the headaches turned to music when she let the pressure go. If she could possibly recall anything but the thrumming beat of her own heart —beyond the pressure-echo-- she remembered how the pain went away like the slow bleed of the ink to the paper.

But there was nothing left to write.

No no, that didn’t make any sense. If there was nothing left to let go of, then it wouldn’t hurt like this. This wasn’t the natural state of things, it was the catalytic places she needed to emerge through. This tension was just embryonic creativity.

She felt like a host. She felt like she’d been taking pain killers and had run out.. after 3 years. She was just remembering wounds and her muscle was remembering how to bleed again.

She pushed her fingers harder against her nose.

What a little beast it was. What an annoying tic. What a chiding little demon on her shoulder. She’d flick them both off, angel and devil—to the trash with both of you!

The thing behind her forehead turned and knotted, as if responding. She imagined the 9 Muses as just different classifications for brain cancer. She tried to think of which one would be best for “Malignant”. Oh come on. That was easy.

She tried to think of a story she could write, a story that she could make from this point on. Something that would write itself. Maybe like something about a writer that gave herself a frontal cortex lobotomy with her Mont Blanc.

She wasn’t sure if it was like withdrawal symptoms or not. Though that seemed rather applicable, what it was more like (due to the whole point of this exercise (the fact that she hadn’t in a while))… it was more like trying to get off after being over stimulated. Or like being bored out of your mind after someone has proved themselves totally inept at oral sex. She tried to weigh out which was more annoying.

She couldn’t come up with a straight answer.

So she went back to wondering about tumors and evil things. She wondered if she should write something about a creativity tape-worm. Something that had latched itself onto the right side of her brain and started to suck the life out of her. Well, what she once thought was life and life’s blood and a necessity. She had a picture in her head of what the face of the parasite looked like. She couldn’t help it, she was horror-movie inclined. But then again, as it started to come up in higher resolution, it went from fluke-man to the face of an ex-boyfriend. After all, it was usually interpersonal relationships that fucked up her writing. She could be so damned focused on one thing. She compartmentalized everything from her friendships to her evening meal. (Please don't let the mashed patatos touch the comics her ex still had. Please.)

And that made it hurt even more. This wasn’t the place to talk about self-destiny and control, but if this vile little parasite was something she contracted from someone else, it would be more debilitating than anything viral. It would be the most control anyone had ever had over her, and the worst kind she could imagine. Maybe being angry would help.

She should write something just to spite everyone else.

That had to be a good enough motivator.

It always worked in all those other situations.


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[ Need to devour ]

Mar. 17th, 2006 | 03:26 pm
posted by: spinallandscape in icarus_society

Recommend me a book.

Well, two.

Recommend me a dense 'classic'. And recommend me something newer.

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[ Let's get this party started ]

Mar. 15th, 2006 | 02:12 pm
posted by: spinallandscape in icarus_society

42) Do women have a greater capacity for ruthlessness? Why or why not?

Bring it. [Let's get people talking, and get the feeling of this Community started. Please, if you've friended this, respond and strut your stuff.]

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Mar. 9th, 2006 | 11:20 am
posted by: spinallandscape in icarus_society

1)Name & Nicknames:
4) Why do you want to be here?
5) What do you think here is?
6) Who brought you here?
7) Who here do you think you could hang out with?
8) What have you noticed about us?
9) What will you bring to the community:
10) Favorite Book & Why:
11) Favorite Author & Why:
12) Noteworthy, must read books:
13) Favorite Movie & Why:
14) Noteworthy, must see movies:
15) Favorite bands:
16) 5 Favorite songs:
17)Most memorable concert/gig/event etc and why:
18) A poem worth quoting:
19)Favorite Living/Dead Aesthetic:
20) Are you creative? (Explain:)
21) What is Art?
22) What is the worst sin of the top 7?
23) What are the worst short comings in human nature?
24) What is your best trait?
25) What is your worst?
26) How do you try to become a better person?
27) What is one thing to remember when dealing with other people?
28) What is, to you, an unforgivable betrayal?
29) Topic: Sex. Discuss:
30) Topic: Freedom of Speech. Discuss:
31) Name a biblical/mythical/historical female figure you think is awesome and tell us why:
32) Topic: Men. Discuss:
33) What is unique about a female group that could help women fit /better/ into a multi-gendered society?
34) Psychologically, what do you think is the biggest difference between men and women?
35) Dom or Sub? Why?
36) Topic: State of the Union. Discuss:
37) Name a trait about women that men find negative but women should feel proud of.
38) Name a negative (socially considered) trait of women. Discuss your thoughts on it from a societal and personal standpoint.
39) Is there a situation where it is 'right' for a woman to be violent?
40) Is there a situation where it is 'right' for a man to be violent?
41) If your answers to 39 & 40 are different, discuss why that is so.
42) Do women have a greater capacity for ruthlessness? Why or why not?
43) Why the fuck are you special?
44) What are your thoughts on Manipulation?
45) What makes a self-assured female so alluring?
46) When is compassion a weakness?
47) What would you destroy to be yourself?

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[ Membership 1]

Feb. 21st, 2006 | 12:49 pm
posted by: spinallandscape in icarus_society

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